Showing Gratitude to Enhance Intimacy
1. Show interest in your partner's life.
Use active listening skills by making eye contact, nodding your head, and offering acknowledgement, all while demonstrating that you are listening.
Try paraphrasing what your partner says. (Repeat it back to them as you understand it.) Try to imagine what their day has been like and the challenges you both may have come up against. Show understanding and empathy. Be willing to talk about the day to day events, without considering them to be boring or without meaning. If it meant something to a partner or was an important part of their day or week, it's worth understanding why it was significant and what impact it may have had on your partner.
2. Help your partner to relax.
If your partner is stressed, give them a relaxing evening. Suggest a bath, or better still, draw a bath for them. Light some candles or perhaps burn some essential oils to add calm throughout the house. Offer a massage or backrub without the expectation of anything in return. Simple gestures like packing the dishwasher or washing the dishes after dinner can be small but very meaningful. If you are aware of what helps your partner to relax, try to accommodate their needs. Sometimes that can be as simple as picking up dinner on the way home or grabbing a nice wine to share.
3. Give Compliments.
Remember to compliment your partner. Most couples know the art of complimenting one another, but lose that art over the years. Think back to when you first met and all of the little things you admired in your partner. It doesn't matter if you've complimented your partner over and over; everyone likes to hear the 'good stuff' occasionally.
You don't have to go overboard. All this requires is a simple token of gratitude for what you truly appreciate in your partner.
James Childs. Expert Couples Counsellor. Hills Couples Counselling.
