Values
Our values reflect what we find meaningful in life. They are what you care about, deep down, and what you consider to be important.
Everybody's values are different, and they can change over time. They reflect how we want to engage with the world, with the people around us, and with ourselves.
Values are different from goals. Goals can be achieved whereas values are more like directions that we want to head in.
The domains opposite illustrate some of the areas in which we may be both compatible or incompatible with our partner.
Sometimes when a relationship is experiencing problems, it helps to re-examine and define both individual and shared values moving forward in the relationship.
Surprisingly some couples only discover a complete misalignment of Values during a certain stage in their relationship. A good example of this is when a child is about to commence schooling, one partner may feel very strongly that the child attend a private school, while the other partner feels just as strongly that the child is educated at a public school. Here, we see a difference in Values.
What's the difference between a Value and a Core Belief?
Beliefs are basically assumptions that we make about the world and our values stem from those beliefs.
Our beliefs grow from what we see, hear, experience, read and think about. From these things, we develop an opinion that we hold to be true and unmovable at that time. From our beliefs, we derive our values, which can either be correct or incorrect when compared with evidence, but nonetheless hold true for us. It is possible for our beliefs and values to differ over time as we encounter evidence or have experiences that challenge our previously held views.
Conversely, our beliefs and values can also be strengthened by experience or evidence.
AT Hills Couples Counselling we offer tools for examining and aligning beliefs and values, where misalignment may occur.
