For some of us, there appears to be a pattern or habit of attracting the wrong partner.
Despite our best attempts and a process of qualification, often, we still get it wrong.
Here's a list of tips to help you make a clear and healthy decision regarding your partner of choice.
Hills Couples Counselling Top Tips for selecting a partner.
- Focus on what you need in a relationship vs. who you need.
- Note your red flags and don't compromise because you feel lonely.
- Take time to heal and date yourself for a while, come back to your true essence and reclaim your solo identity.
- Prioritise how you want to feel instead of how you don't want to feel.
- Make a list of all that you learned about yourself in the past relationship.
- Understand and accept that connection can take time.
- If your 'gut' is saying it doesn't fit, don't force it.
- If you have to beg for attention and connection, it is NOT going to work.
- Don't disqualify a potential partner based on your 'type', sometimes the most unusual or different person is the one you may gel with.
- Be open to new experiences. A date or meeting somewhere that you haven't been can be exciting and exhilarating.
- Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. You don't have to immediately 'love' the person.
- Time is your friend. Take it slowly.
- Don't forgive unkindness, rudeness, or blunt comments just because you like the way someone looks.
- If a potential partner criticises you on the first few dates, forget them.
- Ask yourself if you feel comfortable to be you in their presence.
Vicki Childs. Specialist Couples Counsellor. Hills Couples Counselling.