Your relationship resource library from The Hills Love Doctors at Hills Couples Counselling

Explaining how Imago Therapy Works for Couples by James Childs, Sydney's Specialist Relationship Counsellor. Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a form of relationship counselling that focuses on transforming conflict into an opportunity for healing and growth. Developed by Dr Harville Hendrix and Dr Helen LaKelly Hunt in the 1980s, the premise is rooted in the idea that our childhood experiences shape our adult romantic attractions. The core components of the therapy include: 1. The "Imago" (The Image) The term "Imago" is Latin for "image." According to this theory, everyone carries an unconscious blueprint of "familiar love." This blueprint is constructed from both the positive and negative traits of our primary caregivers. We are often unconsciously drawn to partners who mirror these traits because our psyche is seeking an opportunity to "finish" or heal unresolved wounds from childhood. 2. The Purpose of Conflict In Imago therapy, conflict is not seen as a sign that a couple is "wr

For some of us, there appears to be a pattern or habit of attracting the wrong partner. Despite our best attempts and a process of qualification, often, we still get it wrong. Here's a list of tips to help you make a clear and healthy decision regarding your partner of choice. Hills Couples Counselling Top Tips for selecting a partner. Focus on what you need in a relationship vs. who you need. Note your red flags and don't compromise because you feel lonely. Take time to heal and date yourself for a while, come back to your true essence and reclaim your solo identity. Prioritise how you want to feel instead of how you don't want to feel. Make a list of all that you learned about yourself in the past relationship. Understand and accept that connection can take time. If your 'gut' is saying it doesn't fit, don't force it. If you have to beg for attention and connection, it is NOT going to work. Don't disqualify a potential partner based on your 'type', sometimes the most unusual or diff